My Screenplay - Ryz



  • Despite this only being 17 pages, Ryz actually almost went into production.

    It's a long story but a guy had a terrible script with a great idea. A modern B movie like all the Mad Max rip-offs from the 80s with warrior women. He already had contact with wannabe actresses who also loved the idea and some 30,000 to put into a production.

    I told him how his script couldn't work and offered to write him something funnier, sexier and cheaper. He liked this idea and I started writing. I wrote these 17 pages is something like 6 days as well as outlining the main characters, the history of the setting and a terrific twist for the end.

    I was so enthused about it actually happening.

    Then I told the guy I was coming to London and that as he lived there we could meet and talk about it. He just didn't want to know. I explained that it was very rare for me manage to make it to London but he stopped replying. And the whole week I was there and could travel to see him, he avoided me.

    When I got back home, he said that I should take it easy and let things happen as they happened.

    That killed the project for me. That was August/September 2009, I haven't touched it since.



  • I should probably explain that H2K was the character's description Hunter to Killer,as well as her name.

    Looking back, I'm not very happy with the Nairn/Angelique storyline. They are a bit cardboard and don't really do anything. They would be the first in the firing line if I wanted to do the rewrite.



  • @Skyline:

    FADE IN:
    EXT. TAVERN/SHACK - DAY

    The quiet of the peaceful out of the way stop is shattered
    by a 4x4 screeching to a halt. It’s FRONT WHEEL dominates
    the near by shack.
    INT.

    THREE MEN IN DISTRESSED BLACK UNIFORMS WALK IN. They are ready for combat, though they look like they’ve already been fighting.

    They scan the room, there are only A FEW PEOPLE there.

    Their headsets give off a low ping sound.

    In the corner, A FIGURE sits behind a table, hooded and wrapped in shadow. She has a small, single button remote in
    her right hand. She presses it -

    The uniform’s headsets fire a piercing whine.

    She raises her left arm onto the table, there is a gun holstered to her forearm. It’s huge.

    The uniforms take out their guns. Everyone runs out.

    They approach the corner table.

    The hooded woman kicks out the chair opposite her - She flips the table and draws the massive pistol.

    She blind fires in the uniform’s direction, then aims her pistol at the wall.

    She fries 3 shots across it.

    She stands and fires before throwing herself through the wall.

    The uniforms chase towards the hole. They miss the bomb stuck to the underside of the table.

    EXT.
    The woman presses the single button remote again.

    A fireball explodes out of the hole. It blows back her hood, revealing her beauty.

    The patrons stare at her as she breezes past.

    PATRON #1
    (whispered)
    She’s Mars.

    PATRON #2
    (whispered)
    The hunter?

    PATRON #3
    (whispered)
    She’s a killer.

    MARS
    She’s the greatest thing you ever seen. She can hear good, too.

    She holsters her pistol and points at the 4x4.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    Who’s car is this?

    CUT TO:
    INT. 4X4

    Mars is driving the 4x4.

    EXT.
    Fast down an open stretch.

    CUT TO:
    B&W
    EXT. FOREST - DAY
    Heavy rain drips through the leaves and branches onto

    H2K

    She is almost naked, standing stoic in the wet.

    In front of her is A ROW OF ARMOURED SOLDIERS. They are completely lacking in any sign of humanity. One holds up a Dog Tag, it reads “H2K”. He reaches it out to her.

    She takes it.

    CUT TO:

    COLOUR
    EXT. CADLIUM - DAY
    The huge fortress - lab stands quiet amongst the trees.

    INT. LOADING BAY
    A lorry is parked an the doors swung open.

    ANGELIQUE approaches and looks inside.

    She motions the doors closed. She puts on a headset. She waits for a response but there is none.

    She storms off.

    INT. NAIRN’S LAB
    OLD MAN NAIRN sits at a computer screen, staring blankly.

    ANGELIQUE barges in.

    ANGELIQUE
    Answer me when I fucking call.

    NAIRN
    Did you? I’m sorry.

    ANGELIQUE
    Wake up. I have to do everything round here.

    NAIRN
    I’m sorry.

    ANGELIQUE
    Shut the fuck up. I know what your problem is.

    NAIRN
    I try not to think about it.

    ANGELIQUE
    All you do is think about it. The bitch is gone.

    NAIRN
    She took everything away.

    ANGELIQUE
    The bounty hunters will find her, they will. And when they do I’m going to take it all back. Now you get your fucking head together. A cargo’s just arrived. Are you going to inspect it or leave it to me to incinerate?

    NAIRN
    (sighing)
    I’ll come down.

    Angelique kneels beside his chair.

    ANGELIQUE
    I’m getting bored of you pining over your lost pet bitch. She may be H2K, but I’m Angelique, you fucker. You remember the Death Kiss, don’t you?

    NAIRN
    Angelique, you’re perfect in every way.

    ANGELIQUE
    Please, Nairn. Get your head out your ass. Or I’ll pull it out with my bare hands.

    She gets up and leaves.

    EXT. ROAD - DAY

    TROOPERS in same black uniforms as those in the shack, corral a group of VAGABONDS. Although they are all different, they are dressed in shabby rags. Some have rashes on their faces. They are all terrified.

    One of the troopers approaches the COMMANDER.

    TROOPER
    Sir. They’re all infected, no sign of her. One is pregnant, though.

    COMMANDER
    That’s too bad. Call for transport.

    He looks of down the road.

    COMMANDER (CONT'D)
    Wait, is that one of ours?

    Mars’s stolen car approaches.

    Another Trooper hails her down.

    The car stops.

    Mars brings the window down and aims her gun at the Trooper.

    MARS
    Hi. Don’t move or you’re dead. What are you doing up there?

    AMONGST THE VAGABONDS
    One of the highly infected is very jittery, his eyes dart around the Troopers and at the distant car.
    HE makes a bolt for it.

    A TROOPER raises his rifle and shoots the man down.

    The rest of the Troopers turn their guns on the Vagabonds.

    COMMANDER
    Nobody move.

    He doesn’t realise the car is coming at full speed until it runs him down.
    It screeches to a halt.

    Mars jumps out shooting.

    She takes down most of the Troopers before they’ve even raised their aim.

    There are a few shots but Mars dispatches them also.

    SHE scans them until she’s satisfied they are dead.

    MARS
    OK, that was too fucking easy.

    The PREGNANT VAGABOND runs over to her while most of the others disperse.

    PRECIOUS
    Oh god, thank you.

    Mars holsters her gun.

    MARS
    Save it.

    PRECIOUS
    Really thank you.

    MARS
    Yeah, you got any food? I skipped my last meal.

    A big male VAGABOND holds Precious’s shoulders.

    DINO
    No, we don’t have anything.

    MARS
    Uh-huh.

    PRECIOUS
    Is there anything else we can do?

    MARS
    You can check if they’ve got any.

    SHE motions towards one of the Troopers.
    HE holds fast.

    DINO
    Leave her alone, Precious.

    MARS
    Precious?

    DINO
    She’s a bounty hunter, aren’t you?

    MARS
    (beat)
    No.

    DINO
    You see?

    MARS
    I’m not. There is only one bounty out there anyway. And I think your looking for it too.

    She points to PRECIOUS’S belly.

    DINO
    You stay away from her.

    PRECIOUS
    Dino.

    MARS
    Whatever.

    Mars leaves them and starts searching the dead.

    DINO
    Fuck.

    PRECIOUS
    What are you doing?

    DINO
    No.

    PRECIOUS
    Stop being such a dick. Be smart about this.

    DINO
    This is bad, it’s a dangerous thing.

    PRECIOUS
    We’re running out of options Dino.

    MARS
    You two love birds finished?

    DINO
    She’s my sister.

    MARS
    Really? You think I’m going to believe that?

    PRECIOUS
    It’s true.

    Mars gives a wry smile and passes them. She gets into the car.
    She leans her head out.

    MARS
    You’re going to need to step aside.

    Precious comes up to the window.

    PRECIOUS
    Please can you help us?

    Mars pulls her gun.

    MARS
    Could you repeat that?

    Dino comes running over.

    DINO
    Hey.

    Mars turns the gun on him.

    MARS
    Your boyfriend’s right. I’m a fucking painful death waiting to happen. You, your boyfriend and you baby are just going to be in the way of the people trying to stop me.

    She holsters her gun.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    I saved you now by chance. And you didn’t have any food. Why the fuck am I still here?

    PRECIOUS
    We’re looking for her too.

    MARS
    I don’t know what you mean.

    PRECIOUS
    H2K. We need to find her.

    MARS
    Good luck with that.

    She revs the engine.

    PRECIOUS
    (shouting)
    What if we can help?

    MARS
    I doubt it.

    PRECIOUS
    (shouting)

    But we know where she is.

    She cuts the engine.

    MARS
    Nah, that’s bullshit.

    PRECIOUS
    We do. Well, we sort of know.

    MARS
    Sort of? It is bullshit.

    DINO
    South. She’s in the south.

    MARS
    That narrows it down.

    DINO
    We can tell you more.

    She thinks about it.

    MARS
    Get in the back.

    Precious lights up, the pair of Vagabonds rush in.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    (shouting)
    And no fucking back there.

    She starts the engine and drives away. Suddenly U-turning and heading the other way.
    CUT TO:
    B&W
    INT. TRANSPORT CELL

    H2K is held under heavy restraints, there is a bit gag in her mouth. Her intense eyes stare out past the SOLDIERS, past
    the door at the other end.

    The journey is rough but she does not waver.

    Eventually they stop, the doors open and light fills the cell.
    CUT TO:
    COLOUR

    INT. 4X4 - NIGHT
    The car rumbles and rattles.

    Mars is trying to stay awake. She peeks at DINO and Precious in the back seat. They have nodded off.
    She eases the car to a stop. She reaches into the backseat and slaps DINO’S THIGH.
    HE jolts awake, as does Precious.

    DINO
    What the fuck?

    MARS
    There’s and aid station ahead. I’m going to see if it can give us some shelter for the night.

    PRECIOUS
    Can’t we just keep going.

    MARS
    Well that might be dangerous. Besides, you sweethearts might
    like some privacy.

    EXT. AID STATION - NIGHT
    It is just another old shack. Deserted and lifeless.

    INT.
    The shack is just as dead. A TV screen is playing in the background.

    Mars waves a torch around, looking for a light. She kicks some debris around before returning to the TV.
    She browses the MENU.
    Video captions appear. She clicks on the first one and a vlog opens up, an attractive woman appears.

    SHERYL ANN
    Hello, I’m starting this journal as a part of, oh gee. Um, oh, gosh. Sorry, I’ll start again.
    (MORE)
    Hi.
    (laughs)
    Oh, sorry, sorry.

    Mars sighs and skips to the next vlog.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    I’m pleased to say that we have been very successful in our first week. A ton of people have shown up and are looking to help.

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    (a bit down beat)
    OK. We’ve been having some set backs for the last few weeks there has been some break-ins and they’ve gone through the place looking for drugs. I think that now they’ve realised we’ve only got treatments, so…

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    We got some bad news, the government advisor hasn’t been
    around in a while.

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    (pointing to her arm)
    Can you see that? There, right there? I’m going to administer a test in a moment. I’m doing it myself because I don’t want...

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    A representative from some pharmaceutical firm came by and talked about a study. She talked about a vaccine but it worked on about 1 in 10. I gave her a copy of my patients...

    While she’s been watching, DINO has snuck in.

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    (holding up her rash covered arm)
    The infection has stopped resisting treatment...

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    There was a radio report, it said one hundred percent of the population was now infected.

    Skip.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    (the rash has reached her face)
    There’s very little point going on. We’ve all become infected and I think everyone has come to realise that there is no help for us, including me.

    DINO silently approaches Mars.

    SHERYL ANN (CONT'D)
    There haven’t been any deliveries or contact from the government. None of the people who came for treatment have been back, nor have the volunteers. I don’t know if they’re still alive. I hope so. But there doesn’t really seem
    like there’s much to hope for...

    CAR HORN BLAST
    Mars turns and finds Dino just as surprised as her.

    ANOTHER BLAST
    They run out.
    EXT.
    Car lights in the distance. A lot of them.

    PRECIOUS is strangling the ignition.

    BULLETS start to rip the station apart.

    Mars and DINO run to the car.

    Mars pushes PRECIOUS out of the way into Dino.

    MARS
    Who the fuck taught you to drive?

    She turns the ignition and lights up the car like a Christmas tree. Bullets start pinging off the car.

    DINO
    Fuck.

    Mars smashes the accelerator.
    They take off, taking more hits. The windows crack into webs, blood splatters across the glass.

    The car accelerates away. Less and less bullets hit.

    DINO slumps over Precious. When SHE looks up, blood gets in her eye.
    FADE TO:
    B&W
    INT. NAIRN’S LAB
    H2K is walked into the lab by A DOZEN ARMOURED SOLDIERS.

    NAIRN is sitting by his desk.

    SOLDIER
    She’s clean sir, we checked.

    NAIRN
    I’m sure you did. But I’m going to have to insist on checking for myself.

    H2K rolls her eyes and takes off her shirt.

    NAIRN (CONT'D)
    Just put your hand in the machine.
    She steps up to the scanner, throwing the shirt over her shoulder. She stares right at Nairn as the machine runs it’s scan.

    She smiles, she knows what it’s going to say.
    CUT TO:
    COLOUR

    EXT. 4X4 - NIGHT
    The car spews smoke as it rattles and cranks itself to death.
    Mars jumps out and starts kicking the grill.

    MARS
    Piece of Government shit. I’ve wiped my ass with paper tougher than you.

    It rattles out a sigh and is gone.
    Mars takes a deep breath.
    INT. 4X4
    PRECIOUS is cradling Dino, crying.

    MARS
    Get out.

    Precious doesn’t move.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    Leave him. We’ve got to go.

    PRECIOUS
    He always wanted to be buried back on the farm.

    MARS
    Well, this is as far as he’s going. Now, come on.

    She pulls Precious’s arm.

    PRECIOUS
    NO!

    MARS
    Shit.

    PRECIOUS
    We have to bury him.

    MARS
    We? We will get killed if we don’t start moving.

    PRECIOUS
    He would want to be buried.

    MARS
    Precious? You haven’t realised this and I’ve had to make it
    clear to a lot of guys, I’m not a cunt worth fucking with.

    She grabs Precious’s tunic and PULLS her into a KNOCKOUT PUNCH.

    EXT.
    Mars pulls PRECIOUS from the car and drags her away.
    MARS
    So she gets a little dirty, I’m covered in shit. And if I can survive smelling like a whore’s toilet, so can she.
    FADE TO:
    B&W
    INT. CADLIUM
    H2K dresses her self in a soldier’s uniform, while admiring herself in the mirror. She moves onto the armour. It’s bulky and looks tough.
    Last, the helmet. She raises it to her head, but gives a last glance in the mirror. She throws the helmet back down.
    CUT TO:
    EXT. FOREST - MORNING
    CLOSE UP - PRECIOUS
    She wakes in pain. She raises both hands to her face. Her hands are cuffed together.

    MARS
    Morning.

    PRECIOUS
    What’s... I don’t...

    Mars holds up a small cushion with a belt through it.

    MARS
    This kind of fell off last night.

    Precious slaps down to her now flat stomach. She has been striped almost naked.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    Yeah, I had to check the rest of you.

    She holds up a small pistol.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    And they say I’m paranoid. Well, they say I’m crazy then I kill them. You don’t think I’m crazy, do you?

    PRECIOUS
    You’re a fucking -

    MARS
    Oh, you know what? I forgot to do the rectal exam.

    She licks her finger.

    MARS (CONT'D)
    On your stomach, please.

    PRECIOUS
    You can’t treat me like this.

    MARS
    Yes, I can.

    PRECIOUS
    You still fucking need me. I know where H2K is.

    MARS
    You know I haven’t seen you shit yet so this might get messy.

    PRECIOUS
    I’ll never tell you if touch me.

    MARS
    Maybe I should use a stick.

    PRECIOUS
    No.

    She kicks at Mars

    MARS
    Fuck, Precious. If you don’t want to have sex with me why have you been such a tease?

    PRECIOUS
    You fucking psycho bitch.

    MARS
    Now, that’s like calling me crazy and I need to keep you alive. You know where H2K is.

    PRECIOUS
    Give back my clothes.

    MARS
    Where is she?

    PRECIOUS
    At a government camp. Maybe a hundred and fifty miles from here.

    Mars throws a bag over to Precious. As she unpacks some clothes, mars dangles a pair of small keys.

    MARS
    Now what are you going to do to get out of them cuffs?

    Precious stares at the keys then at Mars and scowls.
    CUT TO:
    EXT.


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